Halloween: Zombies vs. Vampires

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With Halloween right around the corner and the current pop culture ubiquity of zombies and vampires, we thought it’d be fun to dig through the Shutterstock collection to see how these respective ghouls measure up to one another, monster a monster.

Round 1: No matter how well-dressed your average zombie may appear, he’s bound to show up unkempt and staggering around like a drunk. The vampire, on the other hand, takes pride in her appearance. To her, blood is like fine wine, while your brains are merely a Big Mac to our zombie candidate.

Edge: Vampire.

Round 2: It’s late at night and you’re walking home. You see a pack of the living dead shuffling toward you, backlit by an eerily green cemetery, and more zombies. Frightening scene, but you can run away from zombies. A hungry vampire, like our Dracula wannabe, can shape-shift into something faster – and scarier – to catch you.

Edge: Vampire.

Round 3: Surprise attack! A dark-cloaked figure will always arouse suspicion, but a decayed hand, unexpectedly shooting up through the soft cemetery earth? No contest.

Edge: Zombie.

Round 4: Hey look! We’re actually funny, cartoon renderings of the terror of death itself personified. Our zombie retains enough teeth to smile while our vampire is laughing at the very idea of his next meal. Both undead just want a hug.

Edge: Tie.

Round 5: In the post-apocalyptic wasteland, the radioactive zombie spots movement on the horizon. Brains? Meanwhile, we see further reinforcement of the stereotype that all vampires are beautiful, charismatic, eternally young creatures we humans will always fall for.

Edge: Vampire.

And the winner: Vampires!

Vampires tend to be solitary creatures, or they congregate into smaller groups. Where there’s one zombie, there’s sure to be another. And another. And another. Vampires can only roam at night, while a zombie would think nothing of having you for breakfast. Despite the bloodsuckers’ victory, zombies aren’t exactly slouches either – unless you’re referring to their posture.

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